Session Four: Day 5

Hi All,

I spent the better part of yesterday updating my blog. When we returned from Gilda's Club last night I was ready to do the final 'touch up' and send it out. Just before I finished, all but the last two lines disappeared. I spent about an hour and a half, reading 'help' info and finally acknowledged, "My words were not to be recovered."

Here's a very quick synopsis: Thursday was Treatment 4. I had another allergic reaction to Taxotere in spite of a 15% reduction and slower infusion. It was handled very well by the oncology staff. It was a long day, we started at 11:00am and left the center a little after 5:00pm with four more hours of cold caps needed at home. I felt good and was able to eat a Middle Eastern Restaurant take out.

Day 2: Friday was good. I mostly felt well, did some chores around the house, got my Neulasta shot around 4:30pm and walked afterwards. We limited our walk on the golf course to a little over a mile because it seemed like the prudent thing to do--although I felt fine, enjoyed being outdoors and chatting with Betsey.

Day 3 (Saturday): I woke up feeling like Raggedy Anne--no/zip/zero energy and achy. I tried my best to convince myself that I needed to get some exercise even if it was walking up the stairs, across the house and back down--couldn't make myself do it. This was one of those "One Day at a Time" days.

Day 4 (Sunday): I woke up feeling like I was going to live. Today was better, a little more energy and less aches. I'm feeling like a wimp. The most difficult part of this is watching what the meds are doing to my body. I struggle with how this can help me to get better. It's the Neulasta shot that seems to be the toughest on my body.

Day 5 (Monday): I'm feeling much better and know that I'm 'going in the right direction'. I attended a talk in the evening at Gilda's Club (Royal Oak) on Inflammation. It was excellent. I'll write more about it later this week.

Day 6: (Tuesday): I'm doing well. Don has a routine cardio checkup today. I'll be going with him and then doing some needed grocery shopping.

Here's a note that was sent to me both Saturday and yesterday from a website that I subscribe to: (I've never received the same note twice before and have found no pattern as to how often they're sent).

"On this day of your life, dear friend ...that any frustration you have is simply the result of wrong thinking.  If you were thinking rightly you could not possibly imagine that anything was going 'wrong.' You would know that nothing in the Universe is working against you. By definition, given Who You Are, this is impossible. Move, then to gratitude when you encounter your frustrations. And see every event as an Opportunity. You know exactly why you received this message today.

So, I've changed my thinking, accepted Saturday and yesterday's frustrations as opportunities--which I already know they have been. It's amazing what a change in words can bring.

A BIG thank you to all that wrote to tell me about what's happening with yourselves and your families. We thoroughly enjoyed hearing your stories. I hope to respond to them later in the week. Some were especially interesting and have piqued my curiosity.

I plan to write about some new things I've discovered that have helped me during my tough days. I'm learning much about my body and ways to help it to take care of itself--not something that I was searching for...but certainly worthwhile knowing.

Hope all of you are doing well and enjoying the beautiful sunshine that we've had these past several days. We're so fortunate that the sun shines into our home through different windows depending on the time of the year and the time of day. It's a huge uplift when I've been confined to the indoors.

Thanks for you prayers, good wishes, positive energy and hugs--they're working.    regards,  Joey/Josetta